still() · Page 2
Journal
Quiet stories for hard days — about depression, panic, burnout and the long road of getting help. Written to keep you company, not to treat you.
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No. 38 · · Exhaustion
Tuesday evening, I cut open the hand cream tube I thought was used up
A first-person story of a Tuesday evening after work when a hand cream tube that only made a hollow sound turned out to still hold cream once it was cut open before being thrown away, written with Lamentations 3:22 (WEB).
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No. 37 · · At a loss
Tuesday morning, sitting in the community service center with queue number 94 in my hand
A first-person story of a Tuesday morning spent holding a queue number at the community service center on a half-day off to pick up one document, counting the sitting time like a debt and reading a verse, Philippians 4:13 (WEB).
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No. 36 · · Anxiety
Monday evening, I let go of the effort and my body floated
A first-person story of a Monday evening in a beginners' swim class after work, learning to float on my back for the first time and finding that I sank when I thrashed and rose when I let go, with Exodus 14:14 (WEB).
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No. 35 · · Worry
Monday morning, writing a second care note for my cat
A first-person story of a Monday morning before a work trip, when a note for the friend minding my cat stretched to a second sheet before I handed over the key, with Psalm 55:22 (WEB).
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No. 34 · · Self-blame
Sunday evening, I looked a long time at the weekly screen time my phone sent me
A first-person story of someone who scolded themselves over the weekly screen time notification on a Sunday evening, then slowly recalled the week behind the number, with John 14:27 (WEB).
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No. 33 · · Fatigue
Sunday morning, I stopped halfway up the hill in my old sneakers
A first-person story of someone who took their sneakers out after months and had to stop, out of breath, halfway up a hill one Sunday morning, learning to accept a body that is not what it was, with Isaiah 40:31 (WEB).
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No. 32 · · Clumsiness
Saturday Evening, I Lost Count of How Many Times I Paused the Cooking Video
A first-person story of a Saturday evening spent following a dish they'd never made, pausing the video again and again because I couldn't keep up with the hands on screen, and of finding a pace that suited their clumsiness, with Matthew 11:29 (WEB).
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No. 31 · · Worry
Saturday Morning, Three Unopened Envelopes on the Table
A first-person story of a Saturday morning spent facing three envelopes left unopened on the table all week, with the feelings before opening them and Philippians 4:6 (WEB).
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No. 30 · · Comfort
Friday evening, I rewrote a message cancelling plans three times
First-person story of a Friday evening, sunk after a proposal was quietly pushed to next quarter, spent rewriting a message cancelling plans with a friend and in the end not sending it. Psalm 34:18 (WEB)
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No. 29 · · Nervousness
Friday morning, I rehearsed the opening line for the tenth time in my head
First-person story of an office worker who kept repeating the opening sentence of a Friday morning presentation in their head, and how the more they repeated it, the shakier they felt. Isaiah 26:3 (WEB)
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