On Friday Evening, I Stood Still for the Ninety Seconds the Instant Rice Spun

On Friday evening I came home and went to the kitchen without even turning on the light. I took instant rice out of the freezer, put it in the microwave, and pressed ninety seconds. I put my bag down on the floor before I had even taken off my shoes, and the sound seemed unusually loud. The plate started to turn slowly. The little light inside came on, and a low hum spread through the kitchen.

Normally I would have looked at my phone during these ninety seconds. Or tidied my bag, or checked tomorrow's schedule. But today I didn't have the strength to move even one finger, so I just leaned against the sink and stood there. I switched my phone screen on and off, and finally put it back in my pocket.

Watching the rice go around in the orange light felt strange. With each turn of the plate, it also felt as if the day sitting on my shoulders was coming down one layer at a time. The week was over, but it didn't feel over. Two emails I hadn't answered were still in my head, and I had already thought of what needed doing over the weekend. Even when work ends, it seemed my mind couldn't leave the office. The kitchen, with the fridge motor and the microwave hum overlapping, oddly wasn't unpleasant that night.

If staying still is also a share of the work

Watching the plate turn, I opened still().

The LORD will fight for you, and you shall be still.

Exodus 14:14 (WEB)

I don't know everything about the place where these words were first spoken. Even so, “you shall be still” sounded today not like laziness but like permission. Even when things that might be called battles are piled up in front of me, it read to me as saying I don't have to fight all of them alone. Watching the numbers on the display count down, I felt my breath slowing a little along with them. This one line doesn't make Monday's emails disappear. A corner of my mind is still busy. Still, I thought it might be all right to stand there doing nothing, at least for ninety seconds.

With a “ding” I opened the door. The steam rose so fast I nearly burned my fingertips. As I moved the rice onto a plate, I decided to eat slowly this evening. And I decided to open the emails tomorrow morning. When I opened the drawer for a spoon, it was so loud that I laughed to myself. Only then did I notice the lights of the houses across the way. I wondered whether someone in those houses was standing still for ninety seconds, too.

Today's breath — While the microwave runs, stand without doing anything and breathe out slowly three times.